How's this for twisted?
This weeks Theme Thursday is TWISTED. Since I cannot participate with photos at this time, I will contribute in my own fashion. I present to you the following event:
Things can happen in an instant that will forever alter your life. I was reminded of that this weekend. There are no guarantees in this world. There is no promise that our lives will be everything that we want. The best that any of us can do is to make the most of the day you're given. Dwelling on the past is a waste of valuable time and energy. The past can't be changed, only learned from then left behind. In addition, planning so far ahead that you lose sight of the here and now, is also a waste. Having goals is great, as is having a general outline or game plan, but forgetting to really LIVE, while busy planning the journey, is defeating the purpose.
Sunday evening I had dinner with my friend Margo and her kids. She and I were going to watch the Cold Creek Manor DVD as soon as her ex-husband picked up the kids. I never got to watch the movie. Just as the kiddos were packing up to go, my brother-in-law, Keith, called. He wanted me to come over right away. My sister had gone to the emergency room earlier and was now heading home, but she called him upset and crying and asked that he have Mom and I there when she got to the house. No questions asked, I told Margo I had to leave ASAP and called Mom at work.
We arrived at Steph's house within minutes of one another but much to our dismay, Stephenie wasn't yet home. Mom and I both drove over 20 miles the get there, but Stephenie was only about 10 miles away. She should have gotten home before us. More than a little worried already, Mom, Keith and I paced the driveway and fretted about what could be wrong. Keith called the hospital to see if she was still there, but no, she had already left.
Worry turned to fear as we all waited for my sister to come home. I wandered into the house to wait by the phone in case she called again. It was another ten minutes before I finally saw her car pull into the driveway. I could hear her sobbing before I ever got out the front door. As I walked across the front yard, I saw Stephenie clinging to her husband. Mom kept asking, What's wrong?! Stephenie, WHAT'S WRONG?!" Through those heart wrenching sobs my sisterÃ’s reply was a wail, "I'll never see my babies grow up!"
I can't explain how my blood turned to ice at that moment. My little sister is no drama queen. This was for real.
I have stay calm. I have to be strong. Oh my God, what's going on? These are just a few of the thoughts racing through my mind.
It took several minutes for Stephenie to calm down enough to tell us what had happened. She went to the emergency room and they said she had pneumonia. After doing a chest X-ray, they found something else. Lymphoma. Cancer.
It was like standing wide-awake in the middle of your worst nightmare. My chest and throat tightened. I could hear my heart pounding in my ears as the whole world shifted like the image in a funhouse mirror. Shock took hold and a haze dropped over reality. Most of what I recall of those next few hours are a blur of raw emotion. Anger, sadness, fear, apprehension, doubt, courage and love were swirling around in the maelstrom of conversation that followed in the wake of the "C" bomb. I can even remember a few times when we were actually laughing. Somehow within all the chaos, I crude plan of attack was formed. The first thing being to find out exactly how bad the cancer was and what treatments (if any) are available. The hospital had stressed the need to be seen by her family doctor first, then pursue treatment options, so that became our priority. Once we knew exactly what we were up against, we could better prepare to fight.
The secondary course of action would we the legal papers insuring that I would become the boys' guardian if something happened to Stephenie and Keith and setting up the kids to be home schooled. In the event that the cancer wasn't treatable, Stephenie wanted to spend as much time as possible with her children. Understandable. I have a client at my office that is a paralegal and another that has home schooled her kids for several years. I would be able to start work on those two projects as soon as I got back to work.
After hashing out a few more important details, I headed home around midnight to get some sleep. This proved to be an exercise in futility if ever there was such a thing. The few times I dozed off were haunted by strange dreams. (small wonder) I finally gave up on sleeping and just sat in the dark trying to digest my share of what had been shoved down our throats. Do I need to even mention that all of this had left me more than a little sick feeling. I called the office around 7AM to let them know I wouldn't be in for an undetermined number of days. I'm truly thankful that my boss is so understanding, and let me take off as long as needed.
Stephenie made an appointment with her family doctor for 11:30 that day. Dr. Polly would review the information and then refer Steph to a cancer specialist. Mom and Keith both went to the doctor's office with my sister. I chose to stay behind and pick my nephews up from school at 1:00 rather than letting the neighbor get them. It made me feel better knowing that they were with one of us. I, like the rest of my little family, tend to draw everyone in when things are going wrong.
With all that had happened weighing on my mind, I decided to walk the two or three blocks to the school and meet the boys. It was a nice day and I didn't want to take it for granted, besides, I needed some time to think. I left early, around noon, so that I could stop for lunch at the corner store. The doctor's appointment was for 11:30 so I didn't expect to hear from anyone until later. While I was getting a bottle of water from the cooler, I was startled by my cellphone. I was surprised to see Mom's home number on the screen. When I answered, Mom's first words were, "They were wrWhat"
Me: "What? What do you mean?"
Mom: "They were WRONG!"
Me: "You mean wrong as in no cancer?"
Mom: "YES! There is NO cancer."
If I had not be standing in the middle of a convience store, I would have stouted! NO CANCER!!!
Steph's doctor reviewed her case and even went back to have the X-rays checked again. The radiologist from the hospital confirmed, Stephenie had pneumonia, yes, but cancer, no, definitely not.
I will end this here mainly because I'm tired of writing/thinking about it. I still have a lot of unresolved issues that I need to work through. There were thoughts and feeling uncovered by this, that suprised even myself. As I figure this stuff out, I'll me certain to post it.
Things can happen in an instant that will forever alter your life. I was reminded of that this weekend. There are no guarantees in this world. There is no promise that our lives will be everything that we want. The best that any of us can do is to make the most of the day you're given. Dwelling on the past is a waste of valuable time and energy. The past can't be changed, only learned from then left behind. In addition, planning so far ahead that you lose sight of the here and now, is also a waste. Having goals is great, as is having a general outline or game plan, but forgetting to really LIVE, while busy planning the journey, is defeating the purpose.
Sunday evening I had dinner with my friend Margo and her kids. She and I were going to watch the Cold Creek Manor DVD as soon as her ex-husband picked up the kids. I never got to watch the movie. Just as the kiddos were packing up to go, my brother-in-law, Keith, called. He wanted me to come over right away. My sister had gone to the emergency room earlier and was now heading home, but she called him upset and crying and asked that he have Mom and I there when she got to the house. No questions asked, I told Margo I had to leave ASAP and called Mom at work.
We arrived at Steph's house within minutes of one another but much to our dismay, Stephenie wasn't yet home. Mom and I both drove over 20 miles the get there, but Stephenie was only about 10 miles away. She should have gotten home before us. More than a little worried already, Mom, Keith and I paced the driveway and fretted about what could be wrong. Keith called the hospital to see if she was still there, but no, she had already left.
Worry turned to fear as we all waited for my sister to come home. I wandered into the house to wait by the phone in case she called again. It was another ten minutes before I finally saw her car pull into the driveway. I could hear her sobbing before I ever got out the front door. As I walked across the front yard, I saw Stephenie clinging to her husband. Mom kept asking, What's wrong?! Stephenie, WHAT'S WRONG?!" Through those heart wrenching sobs my sisterÃ’s reply was a wail, "I'll never see my babies grow up!"
I can't explain how my blood turned to ice at that moment. My little sister is no drama queen. This was for real.
I have stay calm. I have to be strong. Oh my God, what's going on? These are just a few of the thoughts racing through my mind.
It took several minutes for Stephenie to calm down enough to tell us what had happened. She went to the emergency room and they said she had pneumonia. After doing a chest X-ray, they found something else. Lymphoma. Cancer.
It was like standing wide-awake in the middle of your worst nightmare. My chest and throat tightened. I could hear my heart pounding in my ears as the whole world shifted like the image in a funhouse mirror. Shock took hold and a haze dropped over reality. Most of what I recall of those next few hours are a blur of raw emotion. Anger, sadness, fear, apprehension, doubt, courage and love were swirling around in the maelstrom of conversation that followed in the wake of the "C" bomb. I can even remember a few times when we were actually laughing. Somehow within all the chaos, I crude plan of attack was formed. The first thing being to find out exactly how bad the cancer was and what treatments (if any) are available. The hospital had stressed the need to be seen by her family doctor first, then pursue treatment options, so that became our priority. Once we knew exactly what we were up against, we could better prepare to fight.
The secondary course of action would we the legal papers insuring that I would become the boys' guardian if something happened to Stephenie and Keith and setting up the kids to be home schooled. In the event that the cancer wasn't treatable, Stephenie wanted to spend as much time as possible with her children. Understandable. I have a client at my office that is a paralegal and another that has home schooled her kids for several years. I would be able to start work on those two projects as soon as I got back to work.
After hashing out a few more important details, I headed home around midnight to get some sleep. This proved to be an exercise in futility if ever there was such a thing. The few times I dozed off were haunted by strange dreams. (small wonder) I finally gave up on sleeping and just sat in the dark trying to digest my share of what had been shoved down our throats. Do I need to even mention that all of this had left me more than a little sick feeling. I called the office around 7AM to let them know I wouldn't be in for an undetermined number of days. I'm truly thankful that my boss is so understanding, and let me take off as long as needed.
Stephenie made an appointment with her family doctor for 11:30 that day. Dr. Polly would review the information and then refer Steph to a cancer specialist. Mom and Keith both went to the doctor's office with my sister. I chose to stay behind and pick my nephews up from school at 1:00 rather than letting the neighbor get them. It made me feel better knowing that they were with one of us. I, like the rest of my little family, tend to draw everyone in when things are going wrong.
With all that had happened weighing on my mind, I decided to walk the two or three blocks to the school and meet the boys. It was a nice day and I didn't want to take it for granted, besides, I needed some time to think. I left early, around noon, so that I could stop for lunch at the corner store. The doctor's appointment was for 11:30 so I didn't expect to hear from anyone until later. While I was getting a bottle of water from the cooler, I was startled by my cellphone. I was surprised to see Mom's home number on the screen. When I answered, Mom's first words were, "They were wrWhat"
Me: "What? What do you mean?"
Mom: "They were WRONG!"
Me: "You mean wrong as in no cancer?"
Mom: "YES! There is NO cancer."
If I had not be standing in the middle of a convience store, I would have stouted! NO CANCER!!!
Steph's doctor reviewed her case and even went back to have the X-rays checked again. The radiologist from the hospital confirmed, Stephenie had pneumonia, yes, but cancer, no, definitely not.
I will end this here mainly because I'm tired of writing/thinking about it. I still have a lot of unresolved issues that I need to work through. There were thoughts and feeling uncovered by this, that suprised even myself. As I figure this stuff out, I'll me certain to post it.
posted by YAYA at
10:32 AM
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